Kiss
Puke
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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