In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
