No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
