I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
