Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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