My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
