That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you never un-have a 4some
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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