I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
