Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize