Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
