Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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