she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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