it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This couple is walking their pig around campus
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
