So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
