does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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