If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
