Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
