dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We have so much sex to catch up on
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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