best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
