I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
