May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize