Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she pinky promised me she was 18
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
