Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
