I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
