why didn't you poke me back
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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