im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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