I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize