you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
