It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
