I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
did you just send me my own nude
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
