and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
