just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
false alarm, still single
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