can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
