I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize