How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
