Apparently you make a good broom.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
