About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
