Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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