Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
