She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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