have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
