Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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