Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Ketchup is God's man juice
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Can I color on your dick again?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Randomize
