: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
