I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
