HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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