garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
