so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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