That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
