Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
soo... how was my night?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize