i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
