I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
