The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
