This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
