I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
