The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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