random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
