just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
