we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think my moral compass just broke
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
