This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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