It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
